Safety Plan

For Teens Who Choose to Stay in the Relationship or Choose to Break Up

If you Choose to Stay:

* Know that you don’t deserve to be abused and that the abuse is not your fault. (No matter what you do.)

* Know that unless the abuser is getting help and is committed to changing s/he will not change.

* When you think a fight may be about to happen-leave the room or the house.

* Talk to someone you trust about the abuse. Keep telling until someone believes you and is willing to help you find a way to keep yourself safe.

* You can always call Womenspace’s crisis line at 485 6513 or 1 800 281 2800. (Womenspace has a support group for teen women in violent relationship. Your school counselor may know about other support groups also.)

* If you have children, talk to them about what to do if a fight happens. For example-call the police, go to their rooms or the bathroom and lock the door during a fight. (If you have a baby try to put them in a crib to keep them safe during a fight.) Tell your children that the fights are not their fault-that the fights are only the fault of the abuser.

* Call 911 if you are being hurt-tell them the ADDRESS of where you are, WHO is hurting you and WHO you are.

* Have a plan of escape from your house. Know which door or window is the easiest to get out of.

* Try to see your partner when other people are around.

If you Choose to Break Up:

At school or in public:

* Tell your teachers, principal, school nurse and /or your boss about your situation. Let them know that you don’t want to have any contact with your ex.

* Let your friends know. Have them go with you to the bathroom, walking home, going to and leaving work, etc.

* Don’t go anywhere by yourself. If you have to see your ex, take someone with you or meet them somewhere where a lot of people will be.

* Keep a whistle (or pepper stray if you know how to use it) on your key chain. Use them if you need help.

At home: (Remember moving to another city can always be an option)

* Keep your doors and windows locked at all times. (Especially your bedroom window.)

* Talk to your parents about your situation. Make sure they know that you don’t want any contact with your ex.

* You and your parents can screen your calls.

* Put a lock on your bedroom door, or another room in your house-go there if you need to. Figure out which doors and windows are the easiest to get out of.

* Tell your parents, neighbors, children to call the police if they see a fight. Talk to your children about which neighbors they can go to if they are scared.

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