How are kids and teens effected by violence in their homes?

Kids from violent homes are effected in many different ways. The effect also varies per kid, which means you may be effected one way and your brother/sister or some other teen may be effected differently.

There are some major ways people are effected by violence in their homes.

Emotionally
Emotional effects are the most long lasting.

How were you effected emotionally?
How do you feel about the violence?
How do you feel about your mom or dad?
How do you feel about yourself?

Kids and teens from violent homes can be effected emotionally in many different ways:

* low self esteem
* feel like the abuse was their fault somehow
* grief
* confusion
* not sure how they feel about their parents
* scared
* afraid of abandonment
* scared to express emotions
* angry
* depressed
* feelings of powerlessness
* embarrassed
* violence towards others
* violence towards self

Cognitively
Your thoughts, how you think and what you think about certain things are effected by violence in your home.

How was your thinking effected?
What do you think about violence?
Who do you think was responsible for the violence?
What do you think about relationships?

Some ways kids/teens thinking can be effected by violence in their home:

* blame others for their behavior (it was your fault I shoved you)
* believe violence is an okay way to control people, to get a feeling of power and to express emotion
* don’t believe in themselves
* do not, feel they cannot, ask for what they want or need
* don’t trust others
* believe that anger is a bad thing
* have rigid ideas about the ways men and women should act or be
* have difficulty concentrating (in school or other)

Socially
How you are socially, with other people, is effected by the violence.

How were you effected socially?
Can you communicate with others when you are sad or mad?
Do you have friends who treat you well?
How do you feel/act when you are around a lot of people?

Here are some ways you may have been effected socially:

* isolated from friends and family
* relationships are stormy
* difficulty trusting, especially adults
* have a difficult time when you are angry with someone else
* have trouble solving problems in a healthy way
* hang out with your friends a lot, stay away from home a lot
* can’t stand up for yourself with bullies
* bully others
* are violent with friends/ partners
* are hurt by others often
* act out violently with others

Behaviorally
How you act is effected. Many of the things above would fit into this category.

Are there any other ways how you act was effected?

Some other ways you may act if you were raised in a violent home:

* acting out violently
* withdrawn
* have a hard time in school
* work extremely hard (too hard?) in school
* don’t even go to school
* take care of others before you take care
of yourself
* aggressive
* passive
* defensive
* nightmares
* feeling/acting out of control
* act aggressive with your mom/siblings

Remember that you may not experience all or most of these things. But, think about them. Think about all of the different ways you may have been effected.

Remember this-the violence you witnessed or experienced in your home does not have to control you. You can make choices (it may be challenging to make them) about how you live your life!!

<- Back to Main Page