Prevention Theory

“Violence and abuse are responses that the perpetrator chooses when he experiences conflict.” (Amend; Philosophy and Curriculum for Treating Batterers, Michael Lindsey, Robert W. Mcbride, and Constance M. Platt. )

There are certain concepts that, if taught throughout a lifetime, may aide in the prevention of domestic or dating (violence in teen or young adult relationships) violence. Those concepts, along with an explanation as to why they are important, are as follows;

Non-traditional Gender Roles
“ Acts of violence against women, such as rape, battering, and sexual harassment, are rooted in sexism-the systematic mistreatment of women by men….Part of the task of working actively to break down institutionalized sexism is to unlearn sexist attitudes and beliefs. They get in the way of our working together to create a society where men and women have equal power.”(3, p. ?)

“As long as men see women as objects…rather than as equals, violence will persist…The man who batters has hatred. He takes out his hatred on the woman he loves….he has been trained to hate women…No doubt much of the hatred the abusive man feels is toward himself. He is trapped by his beliefs about how men are supposed to be.” (1, p. 27)

“ A boy who has learned that men are, on basic levels, monsters, needs adults who clearly believe that men have learned violence but are not naturally abusive. This boy will benefit from being around adults who support the many ways men resist abuse, including crying when they are hurt, walking away from fights, seeking nontraditional careers, and fighting for the rights of women and children.” (3, p. 7)

Affirmations/Self Esteem
“After having had their foundation destroyed by domestic abuse, children from abusive households find it difficult to develop…self-confidence, or positive self-images.”(2, p. 10)

“ Few men who…are secure in who they are batter their mates.”(1, p. 24)

Empathy/Respect/Kindness
“Many times the children’s initial sympathy for the victim turns to disrespect…if the child begins to mimic or learn the disrespectful behaviors of the abuser.” (2, p. 10)

“ He (the batterer) has little empathy. He (the batterer) cannot take care of himself or nurture others emotionally.” (1, p. 26)

“Sadly the abusive man often has a lot to offer but it is buried so deep that even he does not see or believe his potential. The loving and caring part of him is hidden by his unpredictability, violence, and unresponsiveness to others.” (1, p. 26)

Feelings-Recognition/Expression
“Inherent in the masculine role is the belief that a man’s feelings are better left unexpressed. Underlying this belief is the idea that expressing feelings is a sign of weakness, hence leaves one vulnerable to attack. Yet it is the failure to express one’s emotions that leads to violence…When he (the batterer) was a child he shut off his internal world because it was too painful and confusing.” (1, p. 26)

…”He (the batterer) has very strong emotions and no method of coping.” (1, p. 26)

“A central goal (of intervention) should be the development of the child’s ability to identify and express his/her emotions.” (2, p. 11)

“The dilemma for the abusive man is between risking rejection if his feelings are expressed or experiencing frustration and violence if his feelings go unexpressed. The irony is without the ability to feel and express sadness and hurt one is not able to feel and express happiness and joy.” (1, p. 27)

Responding to Feelings -Assertiveness
“Men who batter have trouble being assertive…Oddly, the man who enters treatment for violence often has a very difficult time asking for what he wants…Few men who are reasonably assertive about what they want and need and are secure in who they are batter their mates.” (1, p. 24)

Responding to Feelings-Seeking Help-Coping with Stress/Difficult Emotions
“ The abusive man has learned to block his emotional pain by ignoring it or pushing it aside and moving into anger, rage or violence…The repression of feelings is a critical problem for all men, but especially for the batterer, who is less in touch with his feelings than most men. When he was a child, he shut off his internal world because it was too painful and confusing.” (1, p. 26)

“Since the abusive man may not be able to ask for what he wants directly, he bears the pain of his unmet needs. He misunderstands his feelings of hurt and sadness and says to himself, ‘I am strong enough to take it.’ He continues stuffing hurt until ultimately he feels so used, betrayed and unjustly attacked that he explodes in self righteous anger that too often escalates into violence.” (1, p. )

Conflict Resolution/Problem Solving
Conflict Resolution/Problem Solving
“Goals (when planning an intervention curriculum) must be identified. Among them should be the development of the child’s social skills; this includes verbal communication, nonviolent methods to resolving conflict, and creative problem solving techniques.” (2, p. 11)

“Generally, the abusive man will avoid conflict because it frightens him and because he lacks sufficient skills to deal with it.” (1, p. 24)

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