Are You Supportive of the Teens in Your Life?

If you want to help a teen, it is important that you think about your own position of power in their lives. (From Becoming Whole: Learning New Roles, Making New Choices a workbook by Paul Kivel)

Do I love, acknowledge, and respect the young people in my life?

Do I tell them that at least once a day?

Do I avoid blaming them for their mistakes and their youth?

Do I avoid taking out on them my own anger, frustrations, past hurts, and present disappointments?

Do I challenge them and expect them to be as powerful as possible? Do I talk with them clearly and straightforwardly about power, including the power in my relationship with them?

Do I encourage them to develop the inner power to be strong, proud, whole; the assertive power to take care of themselves and achieve their goals; the group power to improve their communities?

Do I talk with them about the costs of using power abusively?

Do I talk about racism, sexism, and economic oppression? Do I help them understand and deal with these social factors in their own lives?

Do I acknowledge any personal abuse they have experienced?

Do I provide information and support to help them heal?

Do I help them feel connected to their racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural traditions?

Do I help them feel our common tradition of struggle for change and improvement?

Do I share power with them?

Do I help them work together and support each other?

Am I working with young people to change the powerlessness in their lives and to end the personal and social abuse that comes at them?

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