How you as an adult can best help a teen in a violent relationship.

What any person in a violent relationship needs is to be given the autonomy to solve her situation by herself, with the support of friends and family. This is also what TEENS in violent relationships need.

The Teen Victim Needs:

* To be believed.

* To have their reality validated. (To not be questioned about the severity or validity of the abuse)

* To have help focusing on their strengths, feelings and needs.

* To be listened to and encouraged to make decisions (help her realize options, don’t give advice.)

* Accurate information about violence in relationships and also information on healthy relationships.

* The adults around them to continue to give them the independence that is so important to them.

* To be encouraged to look for help within their own community of peers.

* Adults to be sensitive to the issues of power and control in adult-teen relationships.

* To have their feelings honored and validated.

* To know how you are able to help and how you aren’t.

* Honesty and support.

* Respect.

* To hear about other people’s relationships, mistakes, abuse; to hear other people’s stories.

You can offer: your time, your support, your ear, your house, your babysitting abilities, your testimony, but PLEASE don’t offer your advice.

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